Colours

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This is what i got.

You are seeking an affectionate relationship, offering fulfilment and happiness. You are capable of powerful emotional enthusiasm. Deep down, you are a kind loving person, always helpful and willing to adapt yourself if necessary to realise the bond of affection that you desire. But you need the same consideration and understanding from others and it is this need that will sometimes hold you back… so let go, trust and you may pleasantly surprised at what happens.

Rejection is what you fear the most and it is this fear that makes you unapproachable. You are looking for acknowledgement and above all looking for people who can appreciate you for who and what you are.

Everyone has to compromise at times and circumstances are such that at this time you are feeling the need to do just that. Put all of your hopes on the back burner and let matters flow for a time – forgo some of the things you want. The good times are just around the corner.

There is considerable amount of stress present in your life at this time and this is perhaps due to some considerable mental and physical frustration. There are various physical needs that are necessary for your well-being but whatever the reasons – mostly of your own making – your needs are not being fulfilled. We wonder why? You are under the impression that nobody seems to care for you. This predicament is most uncomfortable and it is because of this that you are experiencing far more stress than you feel you can cope with. You need to find a soul mate – someone who truly understands you and whose standards are as high as your own. As matters stand you would like to break away from the vicious cycle that you find yourself entrapped but this is easier said than done. You refuse to compromise with your opinions and essentially you are unable to resolve the situation because you are continually postponing the making of the necessary decision. You are stubborn but this should be no deterrent experiencing a happy life.

You are completely worn out and you are not in the mood for any further demands on your resources. The situation – such as it is – has rendered you quite helpless, unable to continue the mental battle that you have been pursuing for some considerable time. Enough is enough. All you would like to do now would be to have some time for yourself, to find a peaceful situation where you can recuperate in your own time.

It was 2009. It is 2010.

At a blink of an eye, the year of 09 went. Upon reflection, it sure wasn’t the best of years. Though i may have excelled academically, i think i’ve lost a war in the battle of relationships. A big one.

True enough, some surface friendship got stronger and closer when both parties decided to talk and some new friendships were even forged. However, along the way, chances and opportunities to deepen relationships of those already forged friendships were missed out. Upon penning down “i thank God for placing you in my life” in those Christmas cards, i can’t help but to think why didn’t i do more than just thanking God? Especially for those that God has placed to be close to me, the sense of regret and sadness overwhelms. Some flew away literally, some are going to move on to their life station, some already went on. If given the chance, these are the relationships i want to rebuild. How i wish i was able to put my heart into maintaining every relationship or friendship that was forged. I wish i could love people with heart, not just mind. I wish i was one who would open up my life. As much as i wish, they are just mere improvement points.

Well, that was 2009. Right now, it is 2010.
I don’t think i can the best friend, but i don’t think being a real friend is impossible.

Youths; More than men.

As i was rushing through my school assignment whereby i had to do some sort of an introduction about myself, i subconsciously touched on the topic of youths. I was reminded of the purpose of me being in the youth ministry and the actual purpose of the existence of the youth ministry. I believe, the youth ministry never started out with an intention to just grow big and stay big. The purpose of the youth ministry was to benefit the church, benefit the Kingdom in the long run. I believe, the primary function of the youth ministry was to prepare these youths to be biblically ready as they move onto their different phases of life. We didn’t exist to build lives that die out right after they move on from the youth ministry. We didn’t exist to build lives that serves and love God only when they are in their comfort zone with their dearest peers. A baby has got to stand on his own some day. Youths have got to take ownership of their personal relationship with God some day! Today is the day.

I am really excited for SJI’s very own “service”. I pray that lives will be touched on that day, i pray that lives will be changed on that day. We don’t just want to serve and love God because “our leader says so”. We love God because we love God, wherever we are! Simple as that. We don’t just want to be a Godly community that exists because “our leader says so”. That is no Godly community! A Godly community is one that loves God, each other, and everyone else. We need to love even those that are anti-Christ!

Ultimately, we want to be more than men.

:)

I don’t say this often(or even before), but i love my caregroup.

Falling on my knees in worship.

I’m getting on my knees yet again,
for this is getting all insane.
Oh send Your rain,

for God, You reign.